Why do mums need other mum friends?

Mothers are not robots, contrary to their children’s belief.  They are in fact humans and humans require a sense of society and belonging.

As John Donne put it ‘no man is an island.’  Yet there is this growing trend to leave mothers at home (for at least the first three months) and shut her in the house alone.  Is it any wonder that post-natal depression is on the rise?

The African proverb ‘It takes a whole village to raise a child’ is something all modern mothers should consider.  There are no villages in the western world anymore, as a mother you must create your own support network village for your own sanity.

Find people who you can call and cry to, who have similar values and beliefs and who can encourage you.  Make your own village, make some friends today.

So how do mums make friends in Canberra when they’re not at work and when they have a demanding toddler at their heels or a baby on their breast?

Here are my top 5 tips for making friends in the Berra, written from my own nutty experiences.

MOPS

MOPS is a mother’s group that has nothing to do with your kitchen floor and everything to do with making new friends.

MOPS stands for Mother’s of Pre-Schoolers: this means children under school age, including babies.  It is a church-based organisation that meets fortnightly.

For a total of around $7 a visit (first visit free), volunteers watch your children in the room next door.  This gives you the opportunity to talk to other grownups, do craft, have a coffee and cake (without having to share it with your toddler) and discuss issues like ways of coping with anger or child encouragement.

The kids have their own program called MOPPET which includes craft time, outdoor play and morning tea.

My best mum friends were made through this group.  It is a group full of kind, caring and clever women run by other mums as busy as you.

There are currently two MOPS groups in Canberra, a north and a south side – but they don’t compete for which side is the best.

The greatest thing is that MOPS runs all over the world.  So no matter where you live you can log into www.mops.org.au and find your closest group.

 Walking groups

Across the ACT border there is a free walking group for NSW Mums.  Bring your pram or a kid’s tricycle on a Monday morning and walk around the Jerrabomberra Lake.

A personal trainer walks with you and at intervals you stop and do a few easy stretches.  You will feel tired but it is not too hard and afterwards the mums have coffee at the local shops or you can justify buying yourself a big block of chocolate there (usually after the trainer has left).

A maternal health nurse also walks with the group and you can ask her all the questions you like.  From breastfeeding to should I get this mole on my 3 year old checked?

I love the great friendly group of mums, the opportunity to get fit, and support of experienced staff but above all I love that it is free. Find out more here.

If you live in Canberra, do not fear – The Heart Foundation runs free walking groups all over Australia.  If you attend the group regularly you might even win a drink bottle or a t-shirt prize.

To find The Heart Foundation’s pram friendly walking groups near you, visit here.

If there isn’t a group for you, you can even create your own and have the full support of the Heart Foundation behind you.

Paint and Play

I have yet to attend a Paint and Play but it seems to be the thing mothers talk about around our imaginary water coolers. I have been waiting for the weather to warm up…waiting and waiting… and still waiting.

The word on the Sesame Street is that there are picnic rugs, sunshine (when it gets here), a relaxed setting and all the messy play stuff that you don’t want to do at home.

Paint and Play runs in various locations across Canberra and is free. For all the dates and addresses go here.

Playgroups

Playgroups are all over the world and they give kids a chance to play and mums a chance to socialise.

There are so many playgroups that there will be one to suit you; there are structured groups and really relaxed ones, ones for babies and one’s for older kids, there are playgroups that include excursions and ones that focus on inside play.  To find the group that will suit you go here.

Finding the right playgroup can be hard, so I rely on word of mouth.  A friend recently told me about a Tuesday morning Richardson Community House Playgroup.

It is relaxed and costs only a gold coin donation for every visit.  One or two staff members are around to help you if you have more than one child or just want to sit by yourself for five minutes.

The staff are trained in childcare, run courses and are great sounding boards for all things kid related.  They also provide a fruit platter for your kid’s morning tea.  Their phone number is 1800 171 882.

The random meet

One of my closest friends in Adelaide was a stranger I met at a playgroup; neither of us went back to the playgroup but we exchanged numbers and our friendship blossomed.

Local parks are great hangouts to find other lonely mums.  I like to strike up conversations in the parent’s room of Westfield Centres or in the queue of my local supermarket.

I also go to the library outside of the storytime rush; I’ve talked to many random mums for ages while my kids pick out books and run a quiet riot in the library.

Nurture your social side

The social side of my mum life is as important to me as eating right and exercising.  It helps me keep sane and be a better mum for my kids.

Friendships will do the same for you, so get among the people and see what happens.  What are you waiting for?

Where have you made mum friends? I’ve made lasting friendships through my ACT Health New Parents Group and through group fitness (my Zumba Mamacitas are a fantastic group of women). Share your tips on the best ways to make new mates…