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FEMINIST HOUSEWIVES

Posted by on Feb 21, 2012 in motherhood | 10 comments

Can a housewife be a feminists?

I am a (mostly) loving mother, a (sometimes) caring wife and an always strong minded feminist.  I enjoy cooking for my family, begrudgingly do the majority of the housework, care for my children 90% of the time and still believe I am a feminist!

Here is how I see it:

Mothering needs to start being seen as a career.

NOT time off (a full time holiday); NOT time out (watching TV and eating chocolate all day); NOT fill in time until they are at school; and NOT relax time for while they are at school.

It is a valuable and important contribution to society (it’s just that the pay sucks).

We, along with teachers and child carers, are moulding the future generation. This future generation will be changing your bed pans, writing the newspapers you read, and fixing your broken appliances when you are too old or sick or just off enjoying your retirement.

I don’t care if you bottle feed or breast feed, if you work or stay at home or do a bit of both.  I don’t care if you use disposable nappies or dummies. I care about your motivation for these decisions.

I want you to care about your family and to weigh up your options with thought.  If you work or stay at home and have not weighed it up, then you need to start thinking. Ask yourself: What is best for you and your family?

An unhappy mother is a recipe for an unhappy family.  If your motivation to return to work is because you need this to feel happy, I personally think this is great.  It is better to recognise the problem and fix it instead of burying your feelings under resentment for your husband and children.

All mothers at some point have to decide if they will return to work or stay at home with their children.  Some mothers are not given a choice due to their circumstances.  Whatever your decision is, I ask you not to judge those who choose differently to you.

My role as a mother is to teach my son to respect women and treat them as equals.  This means teaching him to share in the housework along with everyone else.  He needs to see his mother and father sharing the load as well.  He needs to know his sisters are his equals.

For my daughters, I teach them they can be or do whatever they want regardless of their gender.  I teach them to respect all people including males, not to hate or despise them.

Our feminist foresisters were fighting for equal rights for women, equal pay, equal respect and a chance for women to reach their full potential.  This came about because women are not all round pegs to be put in the 1950’s housewife round peg holes.

Some women don’t want children at all, some don’t want to get married and some want to prove that they can make it in the business and political worlds.  There are others who are quite content at home, giving their family their complete focus.  All women are different and all careers (including motherhood) are different.  All women just want to reach their full potential.

If you are a working mother, this does not mean that you are automatically more driven than SAHM’s.  You are not smarter, stronger or more organised.

If you are a SAHM, this does not mean that your family is more important than working mothers.  You are not smarter, stronger or more organised.

Most women want RESPECT.  We want it when we work with males (what feminism is all about).  We also want respect from our sisters.  We want them to see that our decisions for our children and families were done with much debate and angst.

Please don’t judge me and I will try my best not to judge you.

Shelley Eldridge spends each and every day in the ‘eye of the storm’.  She is the anchor that holds down her family as it whirls out of control.  Her four young children, her husband, her animals and her numerous relatives depend on her for emotional support and plenty of nourishment.  She is a stay-at-home mother, but does not want that to define her.  Her interests are reading, writing and spending time with friends.  She may or may not be the secret identity of ‘SUPER NINJA STYLING MUM.’  (A comic book she hopes to one day write).