Hello Boos and Ghouls.

Are you sitting comfortably? Then let’s begin. Once upon a time a little girl went into the woods and met a wolf or a zombie or a bits-of-other-people monster. But don’t fret, the girl was really a vampire or a mummy or a ghost. Three cheers for Halloween!

I am with Belladonna – Halloween is fun. A concept Girl Guides grasp – some of my favourite girlhood memories are of dressing up, bobbing for apples, trying to eat sticky pancakes suspended on strings, making fried noodle chocolate spiders … all at Girl Guides. There’s a theme, there’s lollies, there’s dressing up, there’s theming the food with the costumes and the decorations. But no gift giving, no in-laws and no obligations. What’s not to love?

Don’t judge me but I may wear spider web printed tights and a flashing skeleton necklace to work today – I said don’t judge!

However if dressing up and fake blood is too much for you, why not just watch it on TV. Some of the best horror, fantasy and just-a-bit-uncomfortable stories are made for the box. I would argue TV is beating cinema and has been for some time (Buffy, Supernatural, Walking Dead, Bates Motel etc etc). Besides the obvious check out these:

The Fades is a subdued but neck-crawly British series about ghost becoming corporeal

The Black Mirror, again British but harking back to The Twilight Zone with each ep being a weird complete story. I have been disconcerted by every one

Grimm just gets better and better, they even have a Scoobie gang now

American Horror Story is weird and David Lynchian in its convolutions but grand guignol fun

Sleepy Hollow – just when I started loving it, it has disappeared. But it will be back.

But what if you fancy a movie and your sexy vampire has turned to dust or your phantom needs some eczema cream so you are home alone. And you don’t want to get too scared (or is it just me that can’t watch Ghost Hunters alone??)

Why not mix a bit of fun with your freaky, mix a packet of Maltesers into your hot popcorn (my daughter’s recipe for a heart attack), put on your fluffy gorilla slippers and watch one of these:

An American Werewolf in London. Classic meta horror. Don’t have a drinking game involving the self-referencing or you will be more untidy than if you did that watching Scream! But avoid the sequel.

The Frighteners. Way, way underrated gem from Peter Jackson, starring Michael J. Fox. You will never look at jawbones the same way.

Snakes on a Plane. It’s about snakes. On a plane. I spent the whole time screaming … pretty much equally out of fear and laughter.

Beetlejuice. So much weird fun and Alec Baldwin too. You will be singing the Banana Boat Song for days afterward.

Warm Bodies. Just so good.

Zombieland. Bill Murray blending with zombies but Shaun of the Dead did it first.

All the Evil Dead movies – seriously, Bruce Campbell’s cleft chin is caused by muscle development from having his tongue in his cheek.

So I’ve picked something with zombies, ghosts, hell dimensions, freaks, werewolves and a phobia. I do not know of a good self-deprecating vampire movie – do you?

And I wish someone would make a good ghost story that doesn’t involve wet haired, weird walking little girls.